You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
