For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
