as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
