Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
