My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
