Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just gargled with NyQuil
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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