Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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