Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
