Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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