there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
