feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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