just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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