is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
