how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
