i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
