OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
