My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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