I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
