If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
