is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
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