someone get that fucking seahorse.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
ttyl tear gas
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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