Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
