While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
