You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
