Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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