I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
