well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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