he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
