weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
