She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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