More tranny stories later!
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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