absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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