All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
