I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
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