no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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