Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
she smelled like a LAN party
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
