It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
