a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
