Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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