she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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