just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
