I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
