I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
