the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
