After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Randomize
