A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
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