you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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