if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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