i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
