I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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