that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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