Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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