Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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