k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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