ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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