To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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