there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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