i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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