You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
