why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
