if only i could text you this smell
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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