I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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