Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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