Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
