i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
