I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
