I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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